I understand I am allowed one “advert” a year. Here it is and it is only valid for a week and exclusively for SE23 postcodes:
I will croon 20 minutes of Xmas and Elvis songs outside your front door with a battery powered loudspeaker with disco lights. It is good fun, sounds good and it is exclusively for addresses with a SE23 postcode. This has been tested (yesterday) and it works very well and is great fun. No contact whatsoever! Bank transfer beforehand and I will show up! I am a well known act and would not rip you off for a measly £50! I am a pro and you will like it! Check out my website at chineseelvis.com if you can wade through the gubbins. This limited doorstep idea is available during the dark up to 9pm.
Edit! Forgot to post the flyer! http://chineseelvis.com/Resources/SE23_Flyer.jpg