Thoughts from the deep (Depression)

I have wondered for a while now if people would engage in conversations way beyond the normal depths of local community chatter. I know from experience that as bonds form, barriers drop to a degree, and comfort is found in speaking with other like minded people about things some consider more personal.

I have always been someone who doesn’t hold back, and is quite open about sharing my thoughts and feelings. As well as my experiences and emotions, so decided to give it a go.

Living with Depression.

A topic I am very passionate about, and very vocal about too. Having suffered with a few bouts of quite severe depression in my life, been on medication, to counselling, as well as group therapy, I am determined to make sure that other people don’t just bottle it up and live with it.

Everyone has said at some point “oh I’m so depressed”, meaning that something in their life has gone wrong, and suppressed their natural feeling of happiness, and put a downer on their day. Some however understand this to be what depression is. Realising you don’t have enough money to buy the shoes you wanted, dropping £10 on the way home etc . News flash… It’s not !

Depression can be debilitating, life changing, and really tough to cope with. Throwing senses into overdrive, causing confusion and conflict in your own mind, almost like having a disagreement with someone, but all in your own mind, at times. Lack of motivation, drive, confidence, hope. The list is endless. With so many varying symptoms, it is easy to see why so many people live with depression undiagnosed for so long.
Some people at this point say “hey, that’s just life right, got to roll with the punches”. Well, once again, great observation, but nope, not the same. Believe me, I bob and weave my way through life, but every know and then, life lands a sucker punch and knocks you for 6.

I’m not going to go into depth here, all my own experiences are on my own blog, and that is not what this post is about. It is about making people aware of depression, the real thing. And how to try and comprehend how to help or support someone you think may be struggling.

Asking for help is really tough. The fear of rejection, being told “cheer up” or that everything will be ok. These are things people who suffer with depression genuinely fear hearing. All it says is “I don’t know what to do”, which I might add is fine. But the problem comes when you think you have found the person to help, and you are wrong. Your one life line, dropped in the water.

It took me a long time to find a small core of people who can help me through my bad times, so I feel for those just starting out.
My experience in the group I was in showed me the degrees of depression, and I heard stories of how people had struggled for years thinking they were strange or alone in their plight. This is SO untrue. While I don’t think one depressed person totally understands every other depressed person (this is SO not the case), I do think that each offers a glimmer of hope towards each other.

I would genuinely suggest people have a look at this self assessment test, it can be a real eye opener. Especially if you feel you have noticed a change in your moods or behaviours recently.Or that of friends or loved ones.
Being classed as “depressed” on any level of the scale is NOT life changing, nor is it permanent. It is just a warning that something going on in life or your body is unbalanced, and could do with a push in the right direction.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mood-self-assessment.aspx

I will leave it there for now, but if anyone is interested, I will add to this.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Thank you for sharing that anon64893700. I found out a friend is suffering from depression due to chronic pain, he was interviewed by Adrian Childs yesterday. Like a lot of people unless you ask having noticed a few giveaways you would never know. It really is something that seems to be overwhelmingly suffered in silence.

If you ever feel the need for a face to face chat to get something off your chest or just to rant I am happy to do so.

I can guarantee that spending five minutes will convince you that your life is 100%

Thanks mate, that is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my sharings. If you are every bored and unable to sleep, the blog is there for the reading. Much deeper stuff.

Indeed too many suffer in silence, or “ignorance” of their situation. Either way, it is painful being trapped in your own torturous mind, and not knowing which way to turn. I found while in group therapy that I gained strength from openly sharing some of my situations with the others, which helped them open up about their situations. By the end we were a VERY different group of people.

For me, the physical activities have played a huge part in my recovery, and it is why I am now annoyed at carrying an injury which is holding me back somewhat. Very annoying indeed.

Sounds like your friend is fighting a real battle there, and I wish them all the best.

During my most recent journey, I realised or should I say discovered, that a number of my friends, some very close ones, also fight depression, or have struggled with it in the past. As open as we have always been with each other about all walks of life, the subject has never been mentioned before until I started blogging about it. Again this opened the flood gate for others to broach the subject and open up.

It is a very rewarding feeling to just open up, so we have all formed an even closer bond now.

PS, would love to meet you and hope it’s not too long til I do

Well you have to teach me to Tweet on the 30th so then or, if you feel yourself at loose end, PM me and if I am around we can meet for a coffee (or I can have a weak lager, it would make me feel bretter).

I have already booked a 10 day trip to Spain the day after to recover from the experience

As for me, (pre teaching you Twitter) I’m all good at the moment thank you, just staying on top of things so to speak, but I shall keep the offer in mind

Talking is good, sometimes it is even better if one doesn’t know the other person that well.

Very much so, avoids fear of judgement a bit, and lack of attachment prevents gossip and guilt.
Just getting the dialogue started is the hard part, almost as hard as accepting the situation you are in.

I guess the first part of any recovery is to acknowledge you need help and that can be the hardest step.

Very much so, not only acceptance but also recognition. So many struggle by thinking they are just different somehow, and people will think badly of them if they express how they truly feel.
Rapidly becoming a serious problem for men, much as domestic abuse was too. Suffering in silence til it all becomes too much. Nice to see it receiving some attention now.
Feeling weak for struggling with what others seem to plough through. Not realising that so many others are doing the same thing and bravely hiding their struggle.
Whoever it is that battles on, thinking it’s the brave and right thing to do should know they are not alone and people genuinely do care. It’s just tough finding THAT person to turn to.

My pleasure. Hope you find the reading ok. It’s quite deep at times, but hopefully something people can relate to, and have that “ooooh me too” moment.
Here’s to being in the level and stable for a long time to come. And knowing where to turn when times are not so great.

Lol well it’s nice to put a face to a name I have to say. Talk about poor timing, shame on you @anon5422159 lol

But on the flip side, even if you are mad, you just join a long list in the area.

Ah, that was bad timing (unintentional), sorry.

But thanks for putting your face to your name - I think we have an amazingly accepting and positive crowd here and it adds to the feeling of genuine person-to-person community to have people feel comfortable to show their faces. Thank you for doing this.

I’m sure all is fine mate, was just a little bit amusing, for me at least, I reckon @Mitchy117 is ok with it too, ya big bad bully! Haha.
The openness of the sharing was a huge thing IMO. and hope it helps others too, seeing there are a few people just as “normal” as them.

Salute my friend @anon64893700 Xx

I applaud & support anyone that spreads the word & speaks out about anything that some might find taboo, I think it’s the best way to help others.

I hope you come & take part in the #Pavement2Catwalk workshop at FHFW this year with Donald.

Forgot to add, maybe you could give a talk at this on depression if you feel comfortable about this.

This is definitely NOT a plug in anyway for FHFW but have a look at the website www.fhfw.co.uk I want to expand on what Donald (Pavement2Catwalk) does with what some might see as disadvantaged groups this year.

Hope you caught the documentary he was featured in on ITV recently that I posted on here.

He’s my best friend & a complete inspiration to all!

Not really something I would give a talk on. Prefer written word or helping people one on one.

Very pleased with the interaction on the thread all the same, and subsequent conversations I have had with others on the matter at hand.

Timing was comedy genius! Lol
But glad he didn’t scare you away before the important stuff was out of the way lol.
Kudos again for sharing.