Planning a Funeral for Stefania

FUNERAL FOR STEPHANIE…

R.I.P Stephanie, passed away at 7pm, Wed 3rd July 2019

May her spirit continue to touch the lives of many and may we be humbled by the lady that had nothing and yet managed to smile and put a smile on so many other faces and be forever grateful for the little she did have.

it has touched myself and my friend Donna’s hearts to see SE23 (Forest Hill ) rallying together to pay their respects and share lovely memories of Stephanie.
we are proud to say that Stephanie was one of our closest friends and we were probably the best friends she had recently and are so fortunate, actually, PRIVILEGED to have been blessed with her company and uplifting spirit

I could go on all day about Stephanie and how tragic it is that she lost her life many years before she should have…

However, the issue is that this beautiful lady deserves and MUST have a funeral…

She made it clear that she is against cremation… the thought of it terrified her. Stephanie deserves to be buried in a way that she always wanted and expected.

if anyone reading this could possibly start a crowd funding page to give Stephanie the burial she wanted and deserves, please let us know how or assist us in doing so before she becomes yet another homeless pile of ashes to be swept under the rug… Please let her memory be respected and treasured.

thanks guys.

Anna and Donna.

Is there any way to contact her Italian family to let them know and ask if her family would like to be involved as they may like to be consulted.

Hi,

Firstly, I am so sorry for the loss of your special friend - it’s clear the community here are all heartbroken to receive such tragic news.

I am sure, like me, many others will be more than happy to help raise the funds required to give Stefania a proper burial, and the goodbye she deserves. there are lots of details that need to be addressed though in a situation like this to ensure everything is done properly. If you are happy to discuss, please reply to me and we can find a way to get in direct contact.

We will do everything we can to ensure Stefania doesnot disappear into the ‘system’ and be forgotten about.
Best,

Argo

Anna and Donna, So sorry for the loss of your lovely friend, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
As mentioned in the various threads on the forum lots of us want to do something but it seems, we are at a bit of a loss as to what we can or should do.
Others may disagree but I think this awful, awful loss would be even more devasting if Stefani were not able to have the funeral or goodbye that she wanted.
@antoniousprime, aware that you have already reached out but also throwing my hat in to help and ensure that not only do we do all we can to say goodbye respectfully but also never forget her.
@Forestbird I think I heard in the subway earlier that her family are aware and agree they should very much be consulted.

Thanks for also reaching out - and of course, I should have stressed that the Family need to be the ones to make the decisions around Stefanias burial, and that we all support, not direct.

Hi, it will be her family that will be making that decision about her final resting. All we can do is support that by fundraising, since it is quite expensive given her situation, this is where we as a community can be supportive and show our concern.

Hi Anna and Donna, I just posted a message that Vicar Ed will set up a go fund me page, I will let you know if I hear first. Thank you for posting this, we are a community that care deeply about her passing.

Hi, who is behind this go fund me page link? I am interested in knowing since I definitely want the funds to go to the right people. Thanks everyone Debbie

This was passed to us by Clare on FB:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/stefania039s-memorial-fund?rcid=r01-156235088231-3d4b2e4e8ebc4fd1&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w&fbclid=IwAR00RHeQtqsCH0q50j3w-JkjvGgYVDD413mdMYMZNX-XLyO9nvQbDPW3xQM

Crowdfunder update: £1177 raised by 65 people in five hours

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As she was Italian, I guess she was probably from a Roman Catholic background? If so, I guess she might have wanted (or her family might want) a Roman Catholic funeral. But I am sure Ed has this on board.

Yes she is Italian and I offered to take her to a Catholic church last week but she did not want to. Dee Yeadon and Edd will be contacted but in the meantime I will be making some enquiries from one or two key people who may be able to assist in this area. Still no one seems to have contact details of her family. I will contact the Italian Embassy on Monday. I had a lot of dealings on a personal level with Stefania over the last month or so. I will make every effort to see if we can make contact with her family.
Saira

Please dm me re: family

Hi Ollyz if you have information on the family please could you email me reveddstock@gmail.com, thank you

hi guys thankyou for yr.thoughts n’ love n’ consideration. yh it really is a blow to yr. stomach. such a sad,sad story. but if you wish to help or contribute please donate to the memorial fund. we think the reverend is responsible as far as I know.being roman Catholic, so important she has a funeral kind regùards Donna with love

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Memorial fund update:

Thanking Rev. Edd for his support:

We are pleased to let you know that Rev. Edd Stock from Holy Trinity is supporting us in this fundraiser.

He is still working on liaising with Stefania’s family on the continent as to their wishes. If they are not contactable or able to make arrangements for Stefania’s funeral, it may cost us up to £4000 to ensure there is a service for her. I have edited to clarify we will be fundraising in case of this eventuality, do get in touch in the case of any issues. As Stefania was Catholic, Rev. Edd is liaising with local Catholic churches in the area. Please can I take this opportunity to thank him and Holy Trinity for their work for our friend.

We hope that even after this we will have enough for a fund in Stefani’s memory to help local people. So please keep sharing and do get in touch if you would like to be involved.

Your generosity has been amazing - over £2000 in less than 24 hours. Thank you too to Martin Anderson for leaving this lovely photo of Stefani for us.

With love,

Clare x

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Thank you Clare for organising, and for the generous and thoughtful Forest Hill residents (and beyond) who donated:

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I’m a native Italian speaker and can help speaking with Stefania’s family if you have their contact details.

Thank you for your offer

Stefania was a lovely soul- hopefully at peace now - saw her most days - it’s great to see so many people do care - lots of love people of forest hill- xx

I am so saddened and shocked that she is gone… but heartened by the fact the go fund me has almost reached its target in a day. May she rest in peace and her children know what a beautiful kind soul she was.

How do we stop this happening again? How many people just walked past her and ignored her every damn day?? Would like to help

Update:

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To keep updated with the progress of Stefania’s funeral please check out the GoFundMe page and go to updates.

I think the largest venue in forest hill is JK Banquets. Let me know if you’d like me to give them a call.

I wonder if the museum might help? Maybe the conservatory and outside space I’ve been to a wedding there and they put up marquees as well

If the OP is correct, then it seems a shame that the fund is to be used for a send off that she really didn’t want.

EDT: sorry, reply not intended to be directed at any one specifically, just hit the first reply button I saw.

How about the Livsey Hall in Lower Sydenham as a venue. I am pretty sure it can hold 300.

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I have contributed to Stephanie’ fund. It is fantastic that Stefania has brought us all together… there is over £5,000 raised in just a few days… but I find it so sad that it took her death to raise this money… really ironic… could £5,000 have helped save her life? Just a thought… I am thinking now that more flowers in the underpass are wonderful, but could the money spent on flowers (which Stephanie will never see) be used for a better cause? We are all guilty, we are all thinking, what if?

So agree with you. She needed help before not now …

Her family have requested cremation in order for her ashes to be brought home.

Dependent on the type of event being planned maube one of the local schools could help?

Edd you have my email address can you please send me all info

Thanks
Pauline

Hi Pauline could you contact me through our website? http://www.htcsydenham.org/contact Thank you

A new topic has been created with details of the service: Stefania’s Memorial Service

Is there any update of if the funeral is to be a burial or a cremation?. I understand so many people have put money in the gotofund hoping we could provide Stefania with her wishes for a burial. If her family do not want this, then am I correct in thinking that Lewisham council ought to provide for the cremation?. I would not want to have put money toward something Stefania was terrified of, so perhaps the memorial fund can go towards some joint flowers from us all, and the rest to a local homeless charity? I am sure the vicar will provide for a nice service . Thanks you Clare for organising a tribute to Stefania. We look forward to hearing ideas on what the memorial fund might go to now a burial is not taking place.Many thanks.

Agree with you, but from all I’ve heard and read over the years about Stefania it appears she was in a way of life that, whatever the reasons, she chose not to leave. So not sure any amount of money would have saved her.

Money would not have saved Stephanias life for sadly she did not want to save it this is the real tragedy of the whole thing
Many of us tried to offer solutions she did not want them she was married to her addiction which is not a judgement just a simple truth
The very kindest thing we can do for an addict is let them know that recovery from addiction is possible in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous and let them have the dignity of making their own decision
Stephania should not become a symbol of our own personal tragedies it is not her responsibility to do that for the community.
What we can do is give the greatest gift of our time to anyone in our lives who is in need perhaps a lonely family member or neighbour
Addiction is complicated and addicts are not victims of society but of a disease over which they have no power until paradoxically they are willing to surrender self will and reach out …

Very well put.

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